A little bit married

Posted on February 2, 2010
Filed Under Books, Family, Friendship, Love, Society, Travel |

The whole family is deep in the throes of planning my grandpa’s celebration of life (no funeral, we’re going for something a little more positive). It’s happening this Saturday afternoon in Florida so that all of my grandparents’ friends down there can attend. The whole family is flying down, some on Friday, but brother bear and I (along with our cousins) will be making the trek on Saturday morning. It’ll be a quick trip–we’re returning to the great north on Sunday–but hopefully one where we can all support each other and grieve the loss of my grandfather.

In other news, I’ve been without a book for a while now, which is becoming a huge problem. I have some requested from the library but they haven’t arrived yet. I have, however, delved into some of Mike’s New Yorkers and they are excellent. I love how they write about ridiculous popular culture like anthropologists (see the recent story on the “Jersey Shore” phenomenon) and also more “important” subjects (see the recent story on Whole Foods and it’s CEO). And of course I can’t forget about the amazing cartoons with their witty captions, they are definitely a big draw.

I did read about another book yesterday that I will definitely not be buying. It’s called “A Little Bit Married: How to Know When it’s Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door” and it’s by Hannah Seligson. The concept is that people are having these long, serious relationships where they live together, buy things together and make major life decisions together, but they aren’t married. Based on my own life and the experiences of some friends, I’d definitely say this is a rising phenomenon. I do think Hannah sounds like she’s hit on a very interesting cultural moment here with this book, but unfortunately I’m afraid it got translated into trite whining by girls whose boyfriends won’t marry them. I could only read the first 30 pages or so in the Google reader preview, but I had my fill. (If anyone has actually read this book and I’m wrong, please let me know because it does sound interesting.)

I would be really interested in an actual cultural-sociological study about this though because it is a very timely subject. What is causing people to have these long relationships that are basically like marriage … except they aren’t?! I know personally that I definitely wanted to live with my boyfriend before deciding to get married, it just always seemed like the logical step. I also think for some people (not me, obviously), their parents’ divorce weighs heavily on their views of marriage. And I don’t blame them! But I still don’t think you should let other people’s mistakes muck up your own life.

Maybe it’s a financial thing–women are making more of their own money so maybe they don’t feel as pressured to get married. Or maybe people feel like they can basically be married without actually having to commit–sort of like the why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free thing. (BTW, why are women being compared to cows?) Personally, I prefer to test drive a car before I buy it. This book has definitely given me some food for thought–and I’d be interested to hear your views, too!

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